So there's a site out there called cracked.com. Back in like 2008 it was big with internet types as like a snarky relevant humor source you could get some good laughs out of. In recent years the articles are less "12 stupid rap song lyrics" and more "5 reasons why christians are sexist". Stuff is more politically based, preachy, badly researched, full of bad logic, full of poorly attempted "oh snap, things are completely different than the way you thought!" moments or putting link or lady gaga on the article picture to get lots of views. I'll try to start touching on why this site has turned, into more or less, the ultra left people I know on facebook circle jerking each other to articles on why republicans are even stupider than you thought and lady gaga is totally not that bad and everything is creepy/racist.
And I usually don't care at all about politics, I hate republicans and democrats but I'm going to college right now and I'm sort of expected to be some kind of athiest leftard douche, so I'm sick of this pearchy elitist bullshit everywhere on the internet. Republicans do lots of dumb things and I'm sure there's a lot of elitist assholes over there but being exposed to a constant stream of people's allegiance to a political party deteriorating their brain to a level lower than a console fanboy has left me feeling like an alien.
This article is "4 Pop Culture Arguments That Need to be Retired" by Daniel O'Brien. I think he was in some cracked videos so he's probably got some fanboys. I don't know, I just want to critique this shitty article a little.
He starts off with a space jam joke. I think it's a joke, I'm not sure. Judge for yourself. I didn't laugh.
#4: Women Aren't as Funny as Men.
This is a pop culture argument that Daniel is sick of, I guess. I've never heard this before, uhh. Do people argue about this? I guess there was a 30 rock episode about it, I've never seen that show. And, holy shit, this argument was in the New York Post as recently as June. It's just everywhere! After reading this, it comes across as just another "You assholes should stop being sexist! (I'm not)" article that Luke has cranked out like eight of. So far there's no jokes, no points made and his writing isn't entertaining. It's nice and short and easy to follow and saying that it's wrong for people to be sexist isn't something people are going to get upset at, so there you go! Easily digestible, shitty, boring writing so far. Next one:
#3: They're Making a Sequel/Remake of [X]? UGH!
Just reading the title disheartened me. I instantly knew that there was no humor to find, it's just a "we noticed a trend that you probably did!" moment. Like when some other article was complaining about people bitching about the star wars prequals/special edition changes. Like, people have legitimate points to make. George Lucas is obviously not going to read anyone's fucking complaints but it's going to happen. Complaining about people complaining about star wars or movie remakes is like bitching about people who bitch about people who post passive/aggressive stuff on facebook, or people who hate walking in the rain.There's so many sequels/remakes people are obviously going to bitch about them you idiot. I hate it when you assholes write about something so broad.
So he talks about the Die Hard remake and Evil Dead 3 trailer and how people in youtube comment sections or imdb forums or whatever are complaining stupidly. It's a Die Hard remake, people are going to complain no matter what. There's some wittiness attempted at arguing with a strawman yotube commenter I think, and it's unfunny. Hey Daniel, check out the comment section to fucking anything. I bet you can pick out any random comment and explain why they're stupid with relative ease, it's not hard dude.
#2 Books Versus Movies.
This section is just lazy and shitty so expect my commentary to follow suite. He pretty much just talks about he doesn't like the walking dead (because he's a douchebag hipster who can't enjoy anything you expect him to) and people tell him to read the comics but he doesn't wanna! Check it out, he gives some really solid arguments and makes you think!
#1 Music Today is Different!
In general, cracked articles about music have been horridly researched and thought-out, unless they're about rap lyrics or stuff like that. I think maybe Daniels works with a lot of really old people, or he thinks that most of his fanbase does or something. Nobody I know has made an argument that music is getting shittier as time goes on, I guess old people would but I'm not friends with lots of really old people.
"One day I woke up and realized the pop stars on the radio were no longer
making music specifically for me. It felt like a betrayal, because
suddenly the radio was alienating, and it all happened sooner than it
was supposed to. Something profound changed. If it hasn't already
happened to you, it will. Within the next five years, it will."
Yeah, he wrote that. Everything I once thought I knew has changed!!
And he talks about the new Taylor Swift song about never ever getting back together and how you're old because you don't like it. There's still new non-pop music coming out, right? You can get jazz off pandora I'm pretty sure. This article is deceptive because he only talks about pop and how people don't like it, but the title is "Music Today is Different!" There's lots of people who don't like pop, and never have, so this shit doesn't apply to them, and lots of people who have listened to pop for thirty years and still love it. Maybe he just wrote this article for himself.
And he ends with a silly picture of Katy Perry looking like a monster and he captioned it "AAHHHHH" so you retards will still love this shit and giggle and thumbs down any comment that gives any criticism. I went into this article with an open mind and didn't laugh, I'm so sorry. I should probably go back and format this shit better and put in silly pictures and replace the word "I" with "we" everywhere and speak to an imagined audience of fellow hipster leftard douchebags but I hate reading these shitty articles and don't want to spend any more time thinking about this crap.
I'm going to go watch Planet of the Apes and I'll leave you with a good cracked article: http://www.cracked.com/article_16785_7-retarded-food-myths-internet-thinks-are-true.html. Compare it to a random recent article, I dare you.
And just in case you think "haha u got trolled!" the point is that this article was shitty and I'm trying to explain why I think so. If your cracked article pissed me off, good for you, you win the internet, but you're still a shitty writer. And I'm not trying to say that I'm a better writer, but a lot of people like this crap and I don't think they're entirely sure why. It's like an episode of family guy that tickles the right parts of your brain, gives you some cheap, goofy one-liners, silly jokes to giggle at and tricks you into thinking it has a message but has no real substance whatsoever.
